#ainternet
queagente
quer_tribunal da internet

 

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A internet pode ser espaço de troca, aprendizado, inspiração. É essa que a gente tenta diariamente fazer aqui, #ainternetqueagentequer. Sabemos, no entanto, que existem muitas outras versões da rede. E algumas delas são extremamente tóxicas – e tristes. Semana passada uma blogueira cometeu suicídio. A garota de 25 anos lutava contra a depressão e compartilhava sobre isso em seu perfil, enquanto produzia conteúdo de moda e auto-estima também. Depois de um episódio de fim de relação, ela compartilhou a dor e a tentativa de superação. Recebeu inúmeras críticas.

O tribunal da internet não perdoa. É veloz ao criticar, zero empático também. Às vezes parece que muita gente se vale do fato de estar atrás de um @ para destilar qualquer pensamento, por mais nocivo que ele seja. Uma história trágica assim pode servir para que pensemos nas relações e nas interações que temos na vida – online e offline. Conversamos com o psicanalista Lucas Liedke, que faz o ótimo perfil @psicanaliedke, sobre isso.

– O que nós, que usamos tanto a internet como forma de expressão, podemos aprender a partir desse episódio?

@psicanaliedke

“O relato é trágico de tantas formas que, antes mesmo de aprender, talvez seja necessário para todos um tempo para simplesmente lamentarmos o ocorrido. Um tempo inclusive que se mostrou tão escasso no desdobramento desses fatos. O episódio parece ser marcado por uma sequência de desencontros e decisões apressadas, em que a instantaneidade e a urgência do agir/reagir, sempre pautada pelo ritmo da tecnologia, desencadeou em uma tragédia irreversível: 1) um casamento desmanchado por Whatsapp 2) um evento que, independente de sua natureza, deveria ser transmitido e compartilhado com o mundo e 3) uma enxurrada de comentários violentos que hoje são deletados como forma de alívio à culpa. No mínimo uma dose de remorso, diante de tudo que foi proferido sem qualquer ponderação sobre as possíveis consequências dessas ações de ódio. 

Elaborar um sentimento, seja de abandono e rejeição ou mesmo da superação de um trauma, não acontece apenas com a instantaneidade de um botão, por mais prático e tentador que seja resolver as coisas dessa maneira. O suicídio é entendido como um ato definitivo para um problema que deveria ser temporário. Comentários e posts podem ser deletados, mas não se deleta um suicídio, o que demonstra que definitivamente estamos em uma crise de tempo.”

Se você ou alguém que conhece está passando por essa situação: LIGUE 188 e informe-se no perfil da campanha @setembro_amarelo.

Uma mulher de 25 anos, que compartilhava sobre sua vida e suas dificuldades com a depressão em um perfil no Instagram, cometeu suicídio. Se você ou alguém que conhece está passando por essa situação: LIGUE 188 e informe-se na campanha @setembro_amarelo.

– A internet pode ser muito cruel. O que é que legitima tantas pessoas a fazerem da rede um ambiente de julgamento e falta de empatia?

@psicanaliedke: “A hostilidade é constituinte do ser humano. É uma parte natural de quem somos. Não tomar consciência desse afeto pode ser ainda mais perigoso do que exercê-lo. Quando a hostilidade se expressa em agressividade e violência, sem um anteparo simbólico, sem qualquer medo de punição ou escuta sobre a reação do outro, caímos em um território sem lei. Na trincheira das redes sociais, exercemos esse falso poder de forma excessiva e precipitada. Nosso julgamento está longe de ser imparcial ou mesmo benéfico, pois geralmente é instantâneo, reativo e descompromissado. É considerado apenas mais um comentário. É botar para fora de um jeito que pode ser catártico, mas também bastante egoísta e imaturo. 

A falta de empatia vem possivelmente de um lugar de distância com aquele que parece próximo, mas que, de fato, é somente um influenciador dos meus sentimentos. Não é um parente, um amigo, não é íntimo, é alguém que eu acredito que conheço e que posso rebater livremente suas ações e seus ataques, sejam eles reais ou imaginários, sejam eles para mim ou não.

As redes sociais enfurecem um dilema humano que é clássico: como lidar com o diferente sem tentar eliminar essa diferença? Ou ainda, como lidar com aquilo que é tão semelhante a nós, mas que não queremos reconhecer em nós mesmos? Quantos desses comentários de ódio direcionados a essa moça não vieram de pessoas que, de alguma forma, também foram deixadas no altar, mas que não foram capazes de bancar esse abandono e buscar a superação da forma como ela tentou fazer? Aqui, é a inveja é que fala mais alto, e a reação instintiva é de destruir aquele que está em vantagem.”

Para fechar essa série, tentamos entender a mecânica entre o sentir e o postar.

– A blogueira compartilhava a vida a partir de um lugar de vulnerabilidade, dividindo seus processos, seus altos e baixos. Muita gente faz isso hoje. Você acredita que às vezes falta um tempo entre o pensar/sentir e o postar? Como podemos nos observar melhor quando passamos por momentos de dificuldade?

@psicanaliedke: “Compartilhar sentimentos difíceis e conflituosos pode ser terapêutico, mas há diferentes formas de fazer essa elaboração. A solução de escancarar um mal-estar pode ser um pedido de ajuda. Pode ser uma forma de finalmente falar sobre isso. Pode ser uma maneira de querer aparecer e chamar atenção. Pode ser o último recurso disponível. Com análise, reflexão e uma boa dose de franqueza consigo mesmo, é possível identificar as diferentes intenções por trás de um único gesto de abrir o seu sofrimento para sua rede de seguidores.

Promover-se em cima de uma tragédia ou superar uma tragédia através de um compartilhamento são comportamentos semelhantes, mas não iguais. A acusação raivosa de que estamos nos promovendo em nossas redes pessoais vem geralmente de um lugar de recalque de quem gostaria de estar se promovendo, mas não é tão bem-sucedido nessa tarefa. É não admitir que as redes sociais podem sim ser um veículo de fortalecimento do Eu, dos nossos talentos, de nossa força de superação ou do nosso estilo de vida, seja ele qual for.

Existe sim um risco de montarmos a nossa própria armadilha nesse emaranhado de desculpas e justificativas para o uso das redes. É como postar (para todo mundo) algo que desejava-se dizer a alguém específico. A postagem, por definição, requer um destinatário. Ou ainda, é como diz a expressão de quem está em busca de ‘migalhas de biscoito’ e contenta-se com uma grande quantia de farelos já que não tem o biscoito inteiro. Parece que é a mesma coisa, mas não é.”

Se você ou alguém que conhece está passando por essa situação: LIGUE 188 e informe-se na campanha @setembro_amarelo.

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