Imagine a cena: você está em casa numa sexta à noite. Decidiu maratonar aquele seriado novo no Netflix, na companhia do seu crush. Vocês pediram comida por um aplicativo e estão prontos para sextar. No intervalo entre uma cena e outra, vem aquela vontade de dar uma olhadinha no celular. E, de repente, você vê que um amigo está no show de uma cantora que você adora. A outra fugiu do calor e foi para a praia. E ainda tem aquele que postou uma foto do crachá com a legenda: “Liberdade” – resolveu jogar tudo para o alto para tentar empreender.
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Imediatamente, você é tomado por uma sensação de que a vida de todo mundo é mais interessante e mais movimentada que a sua. Em paz debaixo das cobertas, você sente um comichão: parece que você está por fora. De um show, uma viagem, de uma mudança de vida.
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Saiba que você não está sozinho e que essa sensação tem nome: Fomo (ferar of missing out), ou medo de estar perdendo algo. Um medo também de que o outro tenha boas experiências, enquanto você não as experimenta.
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A síndrome entrou no Oxford English Dictionary em 2013 e é potencializada pelo excesso de informação que temos hoje, a uma velocidade vertiginosa. Olhamos as redes sociais incessantemente para ficar por dentro do que está acontecendo, para nos sentirmos parte. E, muitas vezes, isso pode acabar nos deixando mais ansiosos. Ainda estamos engatinhando na nossa relação com a internet, então é natural que às vezes a gente se sinta meio perdido mesmo. Por mais que você tenha escolhido o programa e esteja feliz com isso, ver tantos fragmentos de vidas pode te deixar com a sensação de que poderia estar fazendo outra coisa.
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A sensação pode trazer incômodo, insatisfação e ainda fazer com que você se compare aos outros. Você já passou por isso? Como se sentiu? E, principalmente, como tenta lidar quando sente Fomo novamente?
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Desejamos sempre mais
Na raiz de toda solução para o que nos aflige parece estar uma mesma resposta: olhar para dentro e nos familiarizarmos com a nossa própria mente. Buscar entender mais sobre nós mesmos, sobre nossas escolhas e prioridades também. Se escolhi fazer o programa x, por que me incomodo quando vejo o programa y?
É legal termos em mente, também, que nunca antes na história tivemos acesso a tanta informação sobre tudo, inclusive sobre a vida dos outros. Por dia são compartilhados mais de 100 milhões de fotos e vídeos no Instagram. Impossível não ser impactado por esse volume, não é mesmo?
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Para lidar com o Fomo (fear of missing out, ou medo de perder algo), um caminho possível é o de tentar entender por que o que você viu te afeta. As redes sociais podem ser um lugar de muita comparação.
Você tem experimentado descobrir quais são as suas vontades mais genuínas? Toda vez que abrimos o Instagram, podemos sentir uma emoção diferente. Já falamos aqui: e se usarmos essa emoções como bússola?
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Podemos tentar nos comparar menos aos outros, nos lembrando que estamos vendo aqui nas redes sociais apenas fragmentos editados da vida de cada um. Podemos nos lembrar de que nunca é tarde para decidirmos embarcar nessa jornada tão importante de autoconhecimento. Podemos buscar viver toda experiência com o máximo de presença, colocando atenção no que vale a pena – lembrando que se o seu telefone estiver sempre ao seu alcance isso fica um pouco mais difícil. Podemos usar as redes sociais cada vez mais como pontes para encontros ao vivo. Podemos dar uma pausa e ficar sem acessar as redes por um tempo. E, por mais clichê que pareça, podemos olhar bem à nossa volta e agradecer pelo tanto que de fato temos.
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Nos tornarmos protagonistas no nosso uso, escolhendo como usar melhor essas redes nas quais passamos tanto tempo diariamente, dá mais trabalho, mas também pode ser o começo da solução. Vamos experimentar?
Precisamos de mais JOMO
Do lado oposto ao Fomo, está o Jomo (joy of missing out), ou alegria de estar perdendo algo. Sabe quando você entende que vai ser impossível ler todos os livros, ver todos os filmes, aproveitar toda a programação cultural da sua cidade? E, na sequência, se dá conta de que menos é mais? E ainda percebe que entender o que você quer de verdade te deixa mais tranquilo para lidar com a avalanche de possibilidades que vão sempre bater à porta?
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Imagine a cena: passar o fim de semana fazendo o que quer que seja que você queira fazer. Pode ser cuidar das plantas, ler um livro no parque, encontrar os amigos. Pode ser, simplesmente, fazer nada. Sem aquela ânsia de checar as redes sociais para dar conta do que os outros estão fazendo. Conectado com você mesmo, com o que te faz bem. Sabendo que a vida é feita de escolhas – e que tá tudo bem perder um monte de coisa se entendemos o que é importante para nós de verdade. Só de imaginar esse cenário já dá pra sentir um alívio, né?
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Topa experimentar colocar mais Jomo do que Fomo no seu dia a dia? Por aqui a gente tenta colocar o celular em modo avião depois das 21h, sempre que estamos em encontros presenciais evitamos ao máximo dar aquela checada no aparelho e estamos numa busca constante para nos entendermos melhor – inclusive entender se queremos genuinamente dizer sim a um convite ou se estamos apenas com medo de perder algo. E você? O que tem feito para se conectar mais com você mesmo e praticar mais Jomo?
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